so close...

Been in this country for about two weeks now, in a completely different city with completely different people. I am eagerly awaiting going back; I have loads to do and much less time to do it in. Everything generally works out in the end, or at least I hope it does. A big decision is rearing its ugly head and the fact that I don't want to take it even though it is the most logical and correct option must mean something is wrong with the way I'm approaching it. As always I will delay it till the very last of moments and then when it's too late and when I have no other choice and no other excuse I will make a split-second decision.

Something like that is obviously not a good thing to do.

happenings

It's amazing how one day you're doing something and the very next day you're doing something that's so completely different...

It shouldn't take only a day to reach far-away countries. There should always be more time taken so that there is a journey involved and not just an inconvenience. A place on the other side of earth should be quite different from the one at home, and it is. It's nice, something everyone should experience if only to broaden their horizons and realize that the world exists, full of over six billion people and that disregard for the for your world and surrounding is the most foolish thing to do.

I'm here for some time, but I doubt that time will really be that much. Already I'm worried about going back home, I don't know if that's a good thing or bad. Maybe I shouldn't have to care about things like that. Acclimatization is humanity's greatest asset, fitting themselves into almost any setting presented to them. It's strange that all it needs is a bit will power.

INTELligent

Saw the new Intel ad, bloody cool:
A room full of american geeks stand and swoon over this middle-aged indian guy as he goes cooling it up to the coffee machine...
the expressions on the faces are so freaking amazing.

The last few days have not been the fountain of useful activity I had expected, that was not unexpected.

I have managed to make the decision to postpone the decision-making for later. It's a sad thing really. An application and an interview lie in wait, they must be tended to in due time.

I mostly hate summers, especially Mumbai summers with their 90%+ humidity and the very irritating non-presence of breeze. The only thing worth liking about the summer is the mango. The most orangy, sweet and comforting fruit, I could eat these things all day everyday, if given the chance. I am so eagerly awaiting the rains and the worst part is I may actually not be here to see them come and if I go to Kanpur then I won't see Mumbai rains for quite some time, unless it's on TV. Nooooo!

I have to post pics of the recent trip on the net, but keep procrastinating (unsurprisingly enough). I'm also looking for the e-book of Mahabharat ever since I saw the show on TV, it's a really cool story, very well written. The search is on.

But now, it's time for mangoes! Everything else comes later.

The End?

Never.

It's only a bit of a rest, the real fun is about to start.

The only thing I hope is that I don't repeat the mistakes of the past.

I need to focus on the right things, to ignore the wrong ones and to recognize which is which.

There will be a lot more posts, soon.

Another exam gone and suddenly there's only one left...

Only ten days ago I had finished writing my first paper, time didn't fly the papers did.

I know my sighs of relief have increased over the past few days. I'm waiting for the last one before I can start heartily worrying again. It's not like I'm not in a constant state of worry already, but it just doesn't feel like proper worrying. I almost reached that level today morning. It was a state involving inaction and nothing but staring blankly into space. That kind of state is fun when you already have nothing to do. It's not that fun when you have an exam in a few hours' time.

The worry of choice seems to have passed for now. For Now. It'll be back soon enough.

I'm supposed to be worried about my the constructive use of my free time. I don't even consider that a serious statement and will let it pass unnoticed though not untyped.

Two months and a completely different life will begin. (Hopefully)

It's not as far away as it sounds. It doesn't even sound that far away. I've had sem exams lasting two months or more in the past. I know how small an amount two months can be when you want them to pass and not pass all at the same time. When you want to get it over it and still savor every second of it.

I've got things to do, hopefully I'll do them. Right now, I have some work to do.

I'd scream if no one was listening...

Holy heck, why didn't I check my mail sooner? But, no matter now, I open the inbox and there sitting nice and cozy is not one, but two offers of admission!!!

To say that I flipped must be an understatement, I would have screamed had I been sure no one could hear me. The first one came from a much awaited and yet not-so-expected source (makes it all the better doesn't it?) and the second came from a completely unexpected yet not-so-awaited source. The result being that now confusion takes over.

Of course, the eternal cynic that I am, the worst is all I can seem expect. I hate being me sometimes. :P

But, yes, what others call cynicism i call practicality. One must not get too happy too soon. I do have one milestone to cross. It might be a little far, but I'll be damned if I let that stop me.

AAANNNNNDDDD ... it just rained!!!!
well actually it just drizzled, very lightly. It was such an amazing twilight today and so still in the evening, almost a precursor to the rain. And now I remember the evening and realize that it happened today. I realize that there was a day attached to this night and that reminds me that I had a paper today.

My resident cynic gleefully rubs his hands together and brings to my attention certain inconvenient truths (Sorry, Mr. Gore) regarding issues related to my current examinations. The change this causes is clearly visible.

Smiles fade,
Shoulders drop,
Typing slows down
And rains stop

I really do hate being me.

Anyway, now that I have abandoned the uncharacteristically happy state, I can say goodbye and goodnight. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, I doubt it though.

the end that began some time ago is now coming to an end...

It is 5:11 am according to the computer clock and 5:11 am according to my cell-phone clock. One might wonder why I'm so early in the morning, what that one won't know is that I haven't slept in the night.

I didn't not sleep because of tension or the torturing memory of anyone. The reason was so disconnected from everything else in the world that no one would believe it, if I ever decided to tell it (I will never decide to tell it, except maybe to one person).

I had a university semester exam day-before yesterday and have one again three days from now. I do not care to discuss the preparation for the paper as it is (I have found) the most useless thing to do, ever. After this paper I have one on the 25th and the last one on 29th... It'll be over in the blink of an eye, like the pulling off of a band-aid stuck to hairy skin.

I have breathed a total of three sighs of relief over the past 4 months. That might seem like a small amount, but, I tell you it surely isn't. Considering all the opportunities there were for the sighs to be taken from me, it was a deeply pleasant surprise that I got the chance to do them. I have interview lists pending for my M.Tech. admission. It's strange that all the three sighs of relief relate to the admissions, in one way or another. I would like to say that I am planning a vacation once the exams end, but it seems I'll have to settle with "I was planning".

I await some sort of response from either of the two institutes at which I applied. I don't know which I'll get but it seems appropriate that doubts reigns supreme here too. If ever I got both of them,I have an almost equal number of points specifying the pros and cons of each of the institutes.

Breaths need to be held for a little longer, maybe a fourth sigh is on its way.
Who knows such things?