The End?

Never.

It's only a bit of a rest, the real fun is about to start.

The only thing I hope is that I don't repeat the mistakes of the past.

I need to focus on the right things, to ignore the wrong ones and to recognize which is which.

There will be a lot more posts, soon.

Another exam gone and suddenly there's only one left...

Only ten days ago I had finished writing my first paper, time didn't fly the papers did.

I know my sighs of relief have increased over the past few days. I'm waiting for the last one before I can start heartily worrying again. It's not like I'm not in a constant state of worry already, but it just doesn't feel like proper worrying. I almost reached that level today morning. It was a state involving inaction and nothing but staring blankly into space. That kind of state is fun when you already have nothing to do. It's not that fun when you have an exam in a few hours' time.

The worry of choice seems to have passed for now. For Now. It'll be back soon enough.

I'm supposed to be worried about my the constructive use of my free time. I don't even consider that a serious statement and will let it pass unnoticed though not untyped.

Two months and a completely different life will begin. (Hopefully)

It's not as far away as it sounds. It doesn't even sound that far away. I've had sem exams lasting two months or more in the past. I know how small an amount two months can be when you want them to pass and not pass all at the same time. When you want to get it over it and still savor every second of it.

I've got things to do, hopefully I'll do them. Right now, I have some work to do.

I'd scream if no one was listening...

Holy heck, why didn't I check my mail sooner? But, no matter now, I open the inbox and there sitting nice and cozy is not one, but two offers of admission!!!

To say that I flipped must be an understatement, I would have screamed had I been sure no one could hear me. The first one came from a much awaited and yet not-so-expected source (makes it all the better doesn't it?) and the second came from a completely unexpected yet not-so-awaited source. The result being that now confusion takes over.

Of course, the eternal cynic that I am, the worst is all I can seem expect. I hate being me sometimes. :P

But, yes, what others call cynicism i call practicality. One must not get too happy too soon. I do have one milestone to cross. It might be a little far, but I'll be damned if I let that stop me.

AAANNNNNDDDD ... it just rained!!!!
well actually it just drizzled, very lightly. It was such an amazing twilight today and so still in the evening, almost a precursor to the rain. And now I remember the evening and realize that it happened today. I realize that there was a day attached to this night and that reminds me that I had a paper today.

My resident cynic gleefully rubs his hands together and brings to my attention certain inconvenient truths (Sorry, Mr. Gore) regarding issues related to my current examinations. The change this causes is clearly visible.

Smiles fade,
Shoulders drop,
Typing slows down
And rains stop

I really do hate being me.

Anyway, now that I have abandoned the uncharacteristically happy state, I can say goodbye and goodnight. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, I doubt it though.

the end that began some time ago is now coming to an end...

It is 5:11 am according to the computer clock and 5:11 am according to my cell-phone clock. One might wonder why I'm so early in the morning, what that one won't know is that I haven't slept in the night.

I didn't not sleep because of tension or the torturing memory of anyone. The reason was so disconnected from everything else in the world that no one would believe it, if I ever decided to tell it (I will never decide to tell it, except maybe to one person).

I had a university semester exam day-before yesterday and have one again three days from now. I do not care to discuss the preparation for the paper as it is (I have found) the most useless thing to do, ever. After this paper I have one on the 25th and the last one on 29th... It'll be over in the blink of an eye, like the pulling off of a band-aid stuck to hairy skin.

I have breathed a total of three sighs of relief over the past 4 months. That might seem like a small amount, but, I tell you it surely isn't. Considering all the opportunities there were for the sighs to be taken from me, it was a deeply pleasant surprise that I got the chance to do them. I have interview lists pending for my M.Tech. admission. It's strange that all the three sighs of relief relate to the admissions, in one way or another. I would like to say that I am planning a vacation once the exams end, but it seems I'll have to settle with "I was planning".

I await some sort of response from either of the two institutes at which I applied. I don't know which I'll get but it seems appropriate that doubts reigns supreme here too. If ever I got both of them,I have an almost equal number of points specifying the pros and cons of each of the institutes.

Breaths need to be held for a little longer, maybe a fourth sigh is on its way.
Who knows such things?